Rules your kids did not learn in school

A little snippet of fun, but necessary if you are going to succeed. This is usually attributed to Bill Gates but the actual 11 things were written by
Charles J. Sykes in his book Dumbing Down out Kids. the book was written in 1996, But the net gives Bill credit so we’ll include him here.after all, the information you find on the net is correct, isn’t it? Well, isn’t it? Of course not. That is why the Gurus need Virtual Assistants.

Rule 1: Life is not fair – get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn’t care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won’t be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it’s not your parents’ fault, so don’t whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren’t as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent’s generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they’ll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn’t bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don’t get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: 

Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds; chances are you will end of working for one .

Singularity

Singularity: That single moment in time when you make the decision that will change your life, 

She woke up slowly, fighting it. Her eyes  closed to keep things as dark as possible  trying valiantly to hold on to the last vestiges of her dream; but the last moments were slipping away, the images  disappearing like the closing tides slipping from the sand,  the last of the water leaving the beach, rejoining the ocean and the waves. She was awake, but still kept her eyes closed against the new day, begging God to stay in the dream. But, the day came, it had no choice but to happen, and so she opened hers eyes to reality so it could begin.

The dream receded, and the darkness closed in. The great sadness returned. Her muscles awoke as if each one had an individual mind of its own, little aches and pains assuaged her.

She looked around the room, looking for a small bit of comfort, of peace but the only relief was in her dreams.

In her dream she could be free of the sadness, she could be in a time where nothing and not anyone hurt her.

She wished again for sleep and dreaming, but the day indeed, the world called her. 

She The doctor called it depression, her husband called it laziness, and her saw them cast, what they thought were unnoticed, backward glances at her, wondering what to do, helplessly just going about their business. 

She stared listlessly at the counter, her brain told her to move but her body wouldn’t let her.  It told her to speak, to say she loved them, but her mouth was silent. It took to much energy.

She just wanted to escape back into the bedroom, into the dream again where she was happy.

Not here in this world, that she no longer understood or felt she belonged. 

It was a bleak existence. 

She looked up and the kids had left, she thought she had felt them give her a kiss but it didn’t register. She crept into the bedroom, to climb back in bed but someone had opened the curtains. Hoping the bright sunlight of the day would make a difference, it didn’t. She shuddered and quickly closed the curtains and climbed into her bed pulling the covers over her head. 

She lay waiting for sleep to come, to release her from the sadness and carry her off into another world of dreams.

Hard as she tried though, a little tiny beam of light kept pecking through the covers.

Peeking her head out, she didn’t see as much as she felt the light. Finally she put her head out of the blanket fully and saw a book illuminated on the table across the room.

Curious she got up and walked over to the table.

She looked down and was confronted with a book she had not looked at in a very long time. 

Her Bible.

Although she didn’t actually see a light, she felt it illuminating the book and the words “Holy Bible”

She sat in the chair and simply looked at the book. Not touching or seeing it. 

But, she didn’t want to touch the book.

She pushed the table away and stared longing at the bed. Wasn’t it easier to just sleep? Not to face the world? She had been saving pills for this occasion, the time when nothing matter anymore. She was here. She reached under her mattress and pulled out the pills and opened the bottle set it carefully on the table next to her, she got up and got a glass of water setting it carefully next to the pill bottle she sat on the edge of the chair, hands in her lamp starting listlessly into nothing..

She sat there for what seemed like forever.. It was much easier to just sleep. Let the sadness take over her: hide from the world. Maybe it would be easier just to sleep forever. She rested her head on the back of the chair contemplating never having to wake up.  She glanced toward the book, in the recesses of her mind she knows she is about to make a choice: to live or to sleep? To get rid of the sadness or…..

She didn't want to touch the book, but deep inside of her she knew it meant hope, somehow. She had long ago given up on hope.

But Still,...Something had to be worth it!

She picked up the book. She read and read, her hunger for the world returning.

Perhaps there is something to fight for. 

The children came home at three. There, sitting on the sofa was their mother, reading a book.

Her hair was combed and she was dressed then, suddenly the house that had been dark for so long was light, as she looked up at them, the darkness fled. A choice has been made. A new Start, and for the first time in months:She met their eyes and smiled.

I think, she said in a calm voice, I am ready to see a doctor.

What is depression?

We all go through ups and downs in our mood. Sadness is a normal reaction to life’s struggles, setbacks, and disappointments. Many people use the word “depression” to explain these kinds of feelings, but clinical depression is much more than just sadness.
Some people describe depression as “living in a black hole” or having a feeling of impending doom. However, some depressed people don't feel sad at all — instead, they feel lifeless, empty, and apathetic.

Whatever the symptoms, depression is different from normal sadness in that it engulfs your day-to-day life, interfering with your ability to work, study, eat, sleep, and have fun. The feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and worthlessness are intense and unrelenting, with little, if any, relief.

Signs:

• Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
• Loss of interest in daily activities. No interest in or ability to enjoy former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex.
• Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
• Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping (also known as hypersomnia).
• Psychomotor agitation or retardation. Either feeling “keyed up” and restless or sluggish and physically slowed down.
• Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued and physically drained. Even small tasks are exhausting or take longer.
• Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. Harsh criticism of perceived faults and mistakes.
• Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.

Suicide

FALSE: People who talk about suicide won't really do it. 
Almost everyone who commits or attempts suicide has given some clue or warning. Do not ignore suicide threats. Statements like "you'll be sorry when I'm dead," "I can't see any way out," -- no matter how casually or jokingly said may indicate serious suicidal feelings.

FALSE: Anyone who tries to kill him/herself must be crazy. 
Most suicidal people are not psychotic or insane. They must be upset, grief-stricken, depressed or despairing, but extreme distress and emotional pain are not necessarily signs of mental illness.

FALSE: If a person is determined to kill him/herself, nothing is going to stop him/her. 
Even the most severely depressed person has mixed feelings about death, wavering until the very last moment between wanting to live and wanting to die. Most suicidal people do not want death; they want the pain to stop. The impulse to end it all, however overpowering, does not last forever.

FALSE: People who commit suicide are people who were unwilling to seek help . 
Studies of suicide victims have shown that more then half had sought medical help within six month before their deaths.

FALSE: Talking about suicide may give someone the idea. 
You don't give a suicidal person morbid ideas by talking about suicide. The opposite is true --bringing up the subject of suicide and discussing it openly is one of the most helpful things you can do.

No one really wants to die: They just want the pain to stop

Can I help?

The World Health Organization estimates that approximately 1 million people die each year from suicide. What drives so many individuals to take their own lives? To those not in the grips of suicidal depression and despair, it's difficult to understand. But a suicidal person is in so much pain that he or she can see no other option.

Suicide is a desperate attempt to escape suffering that has become unbearable. Blinded by feelings of self-loathing, hopelessness, and isolation, a suicidal person can't see any way of finding relief except through death. But despite their desire for the pain to stop, most suicidal people are deeply conflicted about ending their own lives. They wish there was an alternative to committing suicide, but they just can't see one.

Because of their ambivalence about dying, suicidal individuals usually give warning signs or signals of their intentions. The best way to prevent suicide is to know and watch for these warning signs and to get involved if you spot them. If you believe that a friend or family member is suicidal, you can play a role in suicide prevention by pointing out the alternatives, showing that you care, and getting a doctor or psychologist involved.

Suicide hotlines to call for help:

If you or someone you care about is suicidal, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at             1-800-273-TALK       (8255) or the National Hopeline Networkat             1-800-SUICIDE       (            1-800-784-2433      ).

These toll-free crisis hotlines offer 24-hour suicide prevention and support. Your call is free and confidential.

Tasha and The Bullly: Isn't the school bus supposed to be safe?

Tasha got off the bus crying earlier this week, much to our shock and chagrin. It seems some children on the bus were calling  her names, and one child hit her in the head.

Two of  the kids were kindergarten, one was a second grader. A second grader picking on a kindergartner? What in the world???
 Well. I don't know what those kids thought they were doing, but what they actually did was as Yamato  said at the end of the bombing of Pearl Harbor..was" wake up a sleeping giant and filled it with a terrible resolve". The giant in  that case of course was America, in this case was her me.

Don't get me wrong, her mom was pretty upset herself, but her Nanny was livid.  Who should have to worry about having their world rocked at 6 years old.

Denise went to the school and talked to the principal, I spoke to the bus driver and we got Tasha calmed down pretty well. But No Child should have to deal with this. Children are supposed to be safe at school and on the bus, right?

Wrong.

1 in 7 Students in Grades K-12 is either a bully or a victim of bullying.

- 56% of students have personally witnessed some type of bullying at school.

- 15% of all school absenteeism is directly related to fears of being bullied at school.

- 71% of students report incidents of bullying as a problem at their school.

- 1 out of 20 students has seen a student with a gun at school.

- 282,000 students are physically attacked in secondary schools each month.

Statistics courtesy of  Make a sound for a voice unheard

The majority of bullied children do not tell their parents or teachers for fer of retribution. 

? 

This proved true with Tasha by the shear fact that the child walked into the principals office and Tasha was so unnerved she burst into tears and became confused. Just like witnesses on TV who are bullied into being quiet for fear of their life. Evil has come to the second grade. 

We can do something though. Bullies shouldn't win. and sometimes they don't. Sometimes a bullied child will be so fed up he will come to school with a gun and everyone loses. Do we think this is a small issue

What can we do?

Teach your child how to defend his or her against bulling Violence begets violence, although it is a good way to win a war it is not the best way to stop bullying. 

• Bullies are cowards. They pick on children smaller then them and more vulnerable. they mostly pick on a child who is a loner, so no one else can see therefore report the altercation. The more people you know, the less chance you will be a target. 
• Tell some one, if you tell one grownup and they don't do anything, tell someone else. Someone will step up to the plate
• If it feels safe, stand up to the bully. Tell them to Stop!, I don't like that, and walk away. ALWAYS tell a grownup. If the bully thinks you won't do anything, the more chances there are of his continued bullying. 

Bullying is not a rite of passage, it is not something where your child has to buck up and handle it. The leading cause of death for children under the age of 14 is suicide, and that death is caused by the loneliness, fear and isolation they felt from someone who was bullying them. 

Have a talk with your child, make sure they are safe. 

resources

School memories Bullies and freedom

When you think of childhood, you want to remember days of playing in the grass, swimming, climbing tress and paying with friends. I remember playing in the street until  10 11 at night during the summer. But my childhood was marred by the worst interruption a person can have. that is being assaulted by bullies.
When I was a child, it wasn't that big of a thing. Your parents told you to suck it up, you tried. the bullying continued until the bully moved on to his next prey.
I could take it.  Well, I could until I was in six grade.

In six grade There was a Chinese girl call Ann Cho pronounced "choo". She came in mid year.  Ann was tiny, skinny and barely spoke English, I don't remember why she was here, perhaps her father or mother taught at Stanford. The majority of the kids in my school had parents who were either professors, or big wigs at Hewlett-Packard the two industries of our town.

My Bully, declared me boring at this point, ,. shook the dust off his feet  and turned on Ann. I pretty much took a backseat, a quick sigh of relief and prayed he would never turn on me again.  I prepared to go on with my life bully free.
And that may well have happened.  But, when you have been the target of a bully, you understand the whole picture. I had spent 4,5 and most of 6th grade being his target. I knew the damage he could do. the hurt and humiliation he could produce, worse then that..the tremendous feeling of helplessness.

My favorite game in sixth grade was tether-ball. I could knock that ball around the pole with one swat of my fists. The force no doubt came from pent up anger, at least that is what you will say these days. But then, I just knew I could hit the ball and felt a lot better after I did it. I played all recess by myself.

The row of tether ball   poles lined the end of the playground and was the last line of defense before the grassy area where such games as stick ball, football and other games that got me laughed and snicked at because I was so clumsy. I viewed that area as enemy terrority.

This day though,  a few feet away I heard The ugly voice of my former bully and felt pangs of memories from my days at his hands.  This was different. I heard " ANNN choo"..making the sound of sneezing..."How does it feel to be a sneeze"  "Ahhh Cho choo choo  Train, that's it she is a train whistle, no she is full of snot because she is a sneeze."....the other kids laughed...."chink ching"

Why do the other kids laugh at his behavior? Simply because they hope or are secretly happy it is not them?

But over the laughing, over the cruel words I heard whimpering, the the distinct sound of quiet crying. For the first time I noticed Ann, Unlike me, who stood and took the words my mind elsewhere in a safe place;
she was sitting on the ground, her arms wrapped tightly around her legs, pulling her knees close to her chest. Tears  silently coarseing  down her checks. Something came over me, to this day I do not know what; No was was more terrified of this bully then me. Her little body racked with sobs. I remember she was wearing a white dress and short white jackets, and had them pulled tightly to her in hopes of protection. She was at the point where she had long give up looking around the circle for a friend. By now, she knew the weren't any.

Before I talked myself out of it, I  drew both hands into a fist and double hit the ball sending it sailing towards the sky with the force of my hit it looked like it was headed for the sun. I  took a deep breath, sailed over to my bully drew back and decked him.
Yep. Right in the nose. Then  told him in no uncertain terms to stop picking on Ann or he could expect more.
Out of the corner of my eyes I saw the sassy twins (the popular girls) Sheila and Sharon take off towards the teacher, and the rest of the class stood their silently as I helped Ann up, and she looked at me in pure wonder. So was everyone else eyeing me in the same manner. No one stood up to Bruce before, well you just didn't.
Bruce's nose wasn't broken, but his pride was. I got suspended from school because it is OK to bully with words, but not with your hands. I guess in those days no one understood mental anguish.

It's funny that after that day I don't remember much about Ann, or what went on with her in class. I continued to be a loner, just like today and my life went on as normal. Well almost. Every time I saw my bully, he was now Bruce not Bully and  he was actually nice to me.
I wish I could say I cured him of his bullying, but I didn't. He continued on with other kids; just not in front of me. I lived in a Bully free zone. Wekk until 8th grade. but that is another story.


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